How to Design an Ugly Website

Designing websites isn’t easy. And designing an ugly website is far from easy. These days we have so many templates and themes to create beautiful sites that you probably couldn’t go wrong with building or editing or designing your company’s site and making it look profesh. The harder task is making it not user-friendly, having absolutely no regard for readability, and making sure that it looks special and unique in its ugliness. So I’ve combined a list of ways, in no particular order of course, to make sure your website passes the ugly test. Are we ready to get started?

No Padding What So Ever

I mean it, please don’t add space around images or texts, or keep it to a minimum. This prevents space from getting wasted and you can squeeze in a lot more content than you thought. Win-win, am I right?

Add a Busy Background

It’s not often you see websites with a background. But just like how that plaid wallpaper in your 20th century home makes it look so special, make sure to add a background to your website. Better yet, make sure the background is a stamped design of your very own logo. I mean, if the oscars can have a step and repeat backdrop, you can too. Don’t be shy! Your website is Oscar worthy!

Low Res Images

If humans back in the day were alright with blurry low resolution images, then you can too. Why? Because trends always repeat my friend. Always. So why not be the trendsetter and be the first to reintroduce it to your audience. You never know who you might attract with those images.

Speedy Slider

The best part about sliders is that you can add large images with large text and bring attention with it being the first thing most viewers see on the homepage. Why not capitalize on that and create infinite slides? I mean, your company or organization has so much to offer, having a few slides makes it seem like you don’t offer enough. Make sure you have several, and since the viewer needs to see them all, make sure they slide in half a second. That should do the trick!

Scrolling Copy

Again, you have so much to offer, so make sure your viewers know all the details of everything. And trust me, everyone likes to read. That’s why blogs are popular in the first place, duh!

Mobile Not Friendly

Computers came before smart phones. So most likely everyone has access to a computer and probably looks at your site first on a computer. And even if they saw it on a cell phone first, and it wasn’t stacking right, that’s their problem, not yours. They should know better and view it on a desktop. They need our service, we don’t need theirs. Psh!

Large Header Logo

I mean, people need to know whose site they are on. And an icon doesn’t cut it. You have to enlarge it enough such that your viewer can READ the logo. No, they can’t read the copy or the website address to figure out where they are. And your logo is so beautiful, it deserves to be shown off. So make sure it’s large and honkin’. You don’t want your amnesiac viewers to forget. (Bonus: Don’t forget to add it as a background.)

Never hire a designer

Lastly, make sure to never hire a designer. I mean, everyone’s a designer, and you are too. So don’t waste your poor pennies.

Did you score yourself? Did you pass the test? Might I remind you that 60 is the passing grade. If you failed, then failure is the key to success. So you’re on the right path regardless.

Oh, but if you want a beautiful, user-friendly, responsive website, then do just the opposite. Or let’s connect and I can get your website in shape.